I stopped scheduling fake ‘focus blocks’ on my calendar–and instantly became twice as productive.”

For two years I’ve been padding my Outlook calendar with 2-hour “focus blocks” so people wouldn’t ping me every five minutes. The truth is, I spent most of those block stress-scrolling or folding laundry.

Last month, my manager started using a new analytics tool that shows “meeting load vs. output.” I panicked and deleted all my fake focus sessions before the report hit. Here’s the weird part: without those empty blocks, I actually worked. I filled the time doing real tasks instead of pretending to be “unavailable.” My productivity report shot up, and my manager said “See? The visibility tool is really working!” And I thought, Yeah, and now I’ve got to find a new job because this work shit is the worst!

Moral of the story: Sometimes the title lies. Fuck this job. I’m about to start an onlyfans. That way I won’t mind being watched at work!